A few weeks ago, I watched a video of myself from June interviewing a colleague at a corporate event. The first thing I thought when I appeared on screen was, “Is THAT what I look like?!” (and it wasn’t a good exclamation).
I’ve been working hard on eliminating self-hate speech this year. I have a sticky note on my computer at work that says, “I am strong. I am beautiful. I will love myself today and every day.” I wear a necklace engraved with the words: BE YOU. LOVE YOU. ALL WAYS. ALWAYS. I read daily positive quotes or affirmations to help me start the day in a positive mindset.
And then I watched one video, and it all went to shit.
After a few moments of reminding myself that my body is a work in progress (a lifetime work in progress mind you), I calmed down and looked for the positives. My hair looked great. I was wearing a beautiful dress. I have a beautiful smile on my face.
“I wish I had longer hair.”
“My nose is huge.”
“I hate my thighs.”
“If I could lose ten pounds I could really up my game.”
At some point in every woman’s life, we’ve thought these things (or something similar) about ourselves as we have looked in the mirror. We don’t always like what we see. We want to change something, or several things, about ourselves. Or maybe someone compliments us about an outfit or a feature and our first instinct is to respond with a negative instead of a simple ‘Thank you!’ Why are we so conditioned to speak negatively about and to ourselves? Is it really that hard to love what we see and who we are?
Think about how you talk to other people, be it strangers or people you love. Would you tell your sister she could stand to lose some weight? Or would you mention to your best friend she can’t pull off her new hairstyle? So why on earth would you say those things to yourself?
Eliminating negative self-talk and a negative belief system can take a long time. Even on your worst days, there’s at least one thing (more than one, I’m willing to bet!) you can find to love about yourself. The next time you look in the mirror, find something positive to say about yourself. I challenge you to do this every day. If you change your mindset, you’ll change your attitude and others will notice too.
Be you. Love you. All ways. Always.